If we cast our minds back, we may remember our first day at school, when we didn’t know where we were going or what we were supposed to be doing and we had no friends – and at some point we may have asked someone “will you be my friend?”  The advantage of our mentoring software is that a mentee doesn’t have to pluck up the courage to ask someone “will you be my mentor?”, with a natural fear of rejection!  But even though it is now easier to find a mentor, in comparison to finding a friend when we were aged five; the mentoring relationship still needs nurturing to get the most from it. 

Kathy Kram, Professor Emerita at Boston University has a particular interest in the areas of adult development, relational learning and mentoring.  In her book, Mentoring at Work: Developmental Relationships in Organisational Life, Kathy sets out four stages of the mentoring process: preparation, negotiation, enabling growth, and closure.

During the preparation phase, the mentor and mentee assess their own and the other’s motivations and readiness.  It is important for the mentor and mentee to build initial rapport, getting to know each other and each other’s interests and goals, creating a supportive environment for the relationship to develop.

The negotiation phase is where the mentor and mentee work collaboratively to establish specific goals, transforming broad aspirations into actionable SMART objectives.  At this stage they develop their plan and define the relationship’s structure.  They set out their expectations of the mentor and mentee roles, responsibilities, communication and boundaries.

Enabling growth centres on implementing the plan.  The mentor and mentee will meet regularly to ensure the mentee is working towards the goal, with the mentor offering support, challenging assumptions, facilitating action and providing constructive and honest feedback.

Closure marks the formal conclusion of the mentoring relationship, acknowledging achievements and planning for the future.  The mentor and mentee should reflect on progress against the goals, celebrating successes, learning lessons and deciding whether to continue the relationship with new goals.

There are behaviours which underpin a successful mentoring relationship.  Firstly the mentee must understand their goals and areas for development.  Without clear objectives, the relationship is at risk of stalling.  Mentors must respect the mentee’s autonomy.  They must be able to offer constructive feedback – and the mentee must accept such feedback with an open mind.  The mentor and mentee must foster transparency and authenticity, which will build trust and a shared purpose.  Both the mentor and mentee must commit to open communication and consistent engagement.  Regular meetings or touch-points help maintain momentum and hold the mentee accountable for taking action.  Like any relationship, the bedrock of the mentoring relationship, is communication, trust and commitment.  With these in place, the mentor and mentee can create a partnership which encourages growth and development.

Finally, it is important to recognise that the mentoring relationship may also grow and develop.  The mentor and mentee should regularly reflect on the mentoring relationship to ensure that it is continuing to work for both parties; that the mentee is moving towards achieving their goals; and that the mentee’s goals continue to be relevant and appropriate. 

NAHT's Mentoring Scheme

The NAHT Mentoring Platform is a free online service for NAHT members, designed to connect school leaders across the UK for mutual support and professional growth. Mentees can gain independent advice, develop leadership skills, and access guidance to navigate challenges. Mentors can enhance their coaching abilities, share experience, and contribute to the future of education. The platform fosters networking, personal development, and a collaborative community of educational leaders.

Find out more and register for the scheme